Things You Should Already Know about Dating You F*cking Idiot


Chances are you’ve been in this situation before: You’re on a date. It’s going well! Then, suddenly, your date looks at you like you’re a fucking idiot and somehow you’ve blown it. Guess you’re going to die alone, right?


The thing is, you’re probably not even sure what went wrong on that date. Was it your clothes? Your jokes? Your palpable loneliness? Who knows—today’s dating scene is a mess. We live in a world where it’s become easier to have a relationship over the phone than in person. Common courtesies have been replaced by emojis, and feelings are now expressed through GIFs and memes. So it’s not a shock you didn’t know that you’re supposed to WALK YOUR DATE TO THEIR CAR, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Sure, you’re doing great electronically—your text game is on point and your Twitter feed is fire, but we will teach you how to be a considerate human being on a date in REAL LIFE.

This book contains one hundred simple tips to guide you through hypothetical dating scenarios. Each tip is paired with a discussion between two people to show you how awesome it is when you take our advice—and how shitty it is when you don’t. In case words aren’t your thing, you’ll also find an adorable illustration next to each tip to make the yucky process of fixing your romantic life a little more whimsical!

So do yourself a favor and read this book immediately, and maybe the next time you show up to a date you’ll have a fighting chance at not dying alone.